This Fridge from Nottingham, UK
I bought my fridge from my friend Mark, who deals in all manner of electrical goods. He is very competitive. That’s probably why he’s so good at football. I digress.
As can be seen from the photos, I have decorated the front of my fridge with a tasteful fridge magnet.
The legend under the happy couples smiling faces reads “Porn saved our marriage”. An inspiration to us all, I’m sure!
As can be seen from photo number 3, I like to keep my fridge stocked at all times with the essentials. To ensure visitors to your delightful and rather cool (see what I’ve done there?!) website gain maximum enlightenment regarding my fridge and it’s contents I shall list each item contained within and a description.
Top shelf
1. Most important contents. 3 cans of lager. These particular cans are Kronenbourg 1664. They are Ice cold. Splendid.
2. Tomatoes. In a box. I think I bought them from Tescos. They are very sweet. And, red.
Middle Shelf
1. Flora margarine. Light. Because I’m worried about the effects of trans atlantic acid that I keep hearing so much about.
2. Unopened Bag of Salad. Label says “SWEET”. That’s why I bought it dude!
3. Mature cheddar cheese slices. Yum. Hands off. That’s mine!
Bottom Shelf
1. Bag of bread rolls. I’ve eaten 4 and there are only two left. I may have to buy some more before the month is out.
2. Unopened bag of onions. Being a superstitious sort of chap I usually I like to keep large quantities of garlic at home to ward off vampires. As the local co-op had run out of garlic I opted for the onions instead. In retrospect I’m worried this may not have been a good idea.
The Drawer of Doom
I’m afraid to open this. I will not be drawn into any discussion relating to the contents of this drawer as I am fearful that the contents may hear us talking about it.
The final photo-graphical representation of my Frigidaire depicts the necessities that any young, man about town would be proud to have in his fridge.
Top Shelf
1. Mouldy cheese. The mould scrapings that will be taken from this cheese are to be used in a series of dastardly genetic experiments. I can say no more on this subject for legal reasons.
2. Two (2) chillies and half (0.5) a lime. I’m not sure where they came from.
Middle Shelf
1. Part used, out of date salad cream. This is nothing more than trickery!! I only keep this in my fridge for the ladies!! ahhh!! so suave, but, oh, so thoughtful. Yes. That’s me!!
2. Unopened jar of preserve. I don’t like this. That’s why I haven’t opened it. Wait a minute! How do I know if I’ve never opened it?!! I must try it at once!!! To the spoonery!!
3. Jif Lemon. Essential British culinary item. Issued at birth to all British citizens. One Jif Lemon will usually last an entire lifetime.
4. Milk. Green top. For putting in my tea. I am, after all, an English gentleman.
5. Unopened jar of preserve number 2 (two).
Update - I have tried both preserves. I didn’t like them.
Update number two (second one (1)) - there are now only 2 (two) cans of lager in my fridge.
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